Our international man of mystery strikes again, this time interviewing a Ragged Press favourite Krunchy singer of songs, promoter and drunken reviewer in an epic interview, sure to enlighten you about sausages, bacon and shots!
One of the phrases I really took to after moving to Australia was “not a sausage”. I use it every time I check the post box and it’s empty. I’m hoping that Strawberry Fist Cake do mail order for their upcoming CD Not a Sausage, so that when it arrives and my partner asks what I got I can say “Not a Sausage.” Then she’ll say, “But I can see you got something.” And I’ll say “Not a Sausage.” We’ll be like Abbott and Costello for a new generation! To not discuss this at all, I caught up with Krunchy McBoatface and Drunk Krunch of Strawberry Fist Cake.
Devon: Why is it that people are always talking during “Drinkin’ Tonight”? You’re forever having to tell them to shut up so we can hear you out.
K: I’d like to say it’s because it rhymes with something else in the verse, but I just sung it three times to check and I don’t even know. I guess I’m just pre-empting jerks cutting me off. Always cutting me off, those jerks. Joke’s on them; I’m incredibly loud even without a microphone!
Devon: You know what would be full of great jokes? A theme album based on your drunken adventures! How much longer will we have to wait for the Adventures of Drunk Krunch LP?
K: That is pretty much the greatest idea ever! Well, the place it went in my brain is the greatest idea ever…”The Adventures of Drunk Krunch – interactive and educational children’s books”. Like Golden Books with a CD in the back!
Devon: Holy fuck, that is the best idea ever!!!!
K: There’d be a turn the page when you hear the vomit sound…or something of the like. It will be so educational! Amusing anecdotes, life lessons, a story about that time I got free pizza cos I answered the door naked… It’ll be the best, Jerry, THE BEST!!
Devon: One time I felt like a pint and went to Sydney and Weston, but you weren’t there. What went wrong?
K: Sorry, I got distracted looking up how to print my own Little Golden Books… But that doesn’t sound right at all…Are you sure I wasn’t in the beer garden? Or harassing the DJ to play “Girls” by Beastie Boys? Or unconscious under the pool table? Or harassing the DJ to play Dramarama?
Devon: Nope, I found out later you had gone home.
K: Ahh, must have hit my shot quota…
Devon: You have a quota? That isn’t infinity?
K: It’s generally when I run out if money.
Devon: That’s a money quota then.
K: Ah, yeah!
Devon: The new release comes out on CD in June, but when’s the vinyl edition due?
K: Hahaha, nice try! Though I have been pushing for it. Maybe I can try to combine it with my Drunk Krunch Adventures Little Golden Book release. That would be so awesome! A book with a 7″ red vinyl in the back cover.
Devon: My next question was “Will it be strawberry red vinyl?”
K: Too slow. Hmmm, I am due to do three years of tax returns….what better way to spend the money!? Well, as long as there’s no pubs between me getting the tax return and any plans to spend said return on anything other than shots and scotch…
Devon: You could crowdfund the hell out of that Little Golden Book idea. Or crowdfund the scotch so you can save your tax return to finance the Little Golden Book.
K: Yes! Now to not get drunk and forget all about it…
Devon: Oh, I won’t let you forget. Vinyl makes everything cooler. My mother-in-law gave us a bunch of vinyl and I found myself listening to fucking Neil Diamond. If vinyl elevates Neil Diamond to listenable, how amazing do you predict Strawberry Fist Cake will be on vinyl?
K: Hmmm, maybe not Neil Diamond cool, but almost as cool as Yes! It’s Honky Tonk Time! Dammit. I forgot I packed up my hilarious vinyl collection in preparation for moving…but imagine I just sent you a photo of that amazing vinyl cover and then imaging trying to compare the level of our amazing almost being that great….Now add in the Little Golden Book idea and try not to let your brain be melted by the amazingness.
Devon: Shit, my mind melted, even with the warning. Be honest, if you ask someone the make and they give you the model, how big of an idiot do you think they are?
K: Honestly, with a lot of the people I used to deal with, if they gave me anything other than a colour it was a plus. What type of car is it? A white sedan? Very helpful.
Devon: How did you choose which songs to go on your new promo CD?
K: I actually didn’t get to choose! I wanted two of the other songs because I think they show our new style a little better, they are heavier and faster than the other stuff. But I think the idea was to ease people into the change, that and the Veronicas actually released a new album, so it’s good timing for us to try get sued.
Devon: So the band didn’t say, “What song is least radio friendly?” when picking?
K: Hah! True! Actually, we re-recorded “Cheese”….that would definitely be up there with un-radio friendly. It has also been bought to my attention that it was in fact my record label’s decision….Pfft, “My name’s Mik and I have a fancy record label, blah blah blah”.
Devon: The Krunchy Om-Let Experience came up with a new way to remove profanity by replacing naughty words with “Jodie”, in tribute to Jodie from Flangipanis. Is there going to be a radio friendly version of “Veronicas” that goes “I want to Jodie the Veronicas”? If there is you probably should’ve put it on the promo single.
K: Jodie-ing the Veronicas sounds much worse than fucking them! We’d definitely need a content warning to replace the naughty word warning. Though bit of back story on the replacing swears with Jodie: A couple years ago KO Experience played Jodie Flanges’ 30th birthday boat cruise. At one point during our set the captain actually threatened to turn the boat around and kick everyone off if we didn’t stop swearing so much. So we replaced all the naughty words with the word boat. “Pirate Song” was fun! “Drink and drink our days away cos we’re all on a boat!” And the ever popular, “It may be your birthday, but you’re still a boat.”
Devon: Fuck, now I really want to hear “Pirate Song” on a boat. It’s so appropriate, even if the captain thinks it’s inappropriate language. And you’d be Kruncy McBoatface! That’s probably where the POMEs got the idea for the name of their research vessel. Frenzal Rhomb just released Hi-Vis High Tea, clearly hoping to ride I am Duckeye’s coattails. What band would you like to see rip off Strawberry Fist Cake?
K: Hrmmm, I actually had to really think about that. Pure self indulgence would have me say Toy Dolls or Sloppy Seconds cos I loves them. But out of personal interest The Fckups or Blackwitch would be amazing. But I think it would have to be Maximum the Hormone from Japan. They might actually be able to make our ridiculous changes in songs sound like they’re supposed to. If you don’t know them, have a listen. Then listen to our old song “Sex Puppet”. It will make more sense.
Me: No, I don’t know them, but I’ll keep an eye, and ear, out. I don’t have “Sex Puppet” because I’m a loser. Literally. I lost the raffle.
K: Also if Martha Stewart started a family fun time honky tonk band, that would also be an acceptable answer.
Me: I work at a school and foolishy drove in one day with the windows down while blasting “Cheese.” Which song do I need to watch out the most for on Not a Sausage while pulling in at work? Is it “Cheese” again? “Vernoicas” is up there, too.
K: So it turns out I’m a mature adult these days. I reckon those are both as equally bad as each other, but the rest are all pretty kidlet friendly, actually. There’s limited songs with Jodie warnings, and a heap less drinking songs too. I’m almost like a real grown up! Fuck, I need more shots.
Me: Those would be the two oldest songs on the record, I’m guessing, so maybe you need shots to regress. If Punk-A-Billy Touring and Knoodle Promotions were in a wrestling match, which one would be the heel?
K: Oh man. I feel like that could only start as a hardcore, tables, ladders and chairs, no holds barred match of a fight to the death! But then people would get involved and try to referee it, and the two of us would unite together to form an undefeated alliance and we would fight our way to Valhalla! And those dogs that man the gates of Hell……our Dildo will be there, playing with her squeak toy…
Me: Cerberus? I think that’s one dog with three heads.
K: That one! Dilderous.
Me: Okay, so you’d ultimately form an alliance, but which one is the heel?
K: Is the heel good or bad? Is it like Turtle Man? Cos Ommles MC Punk- a-Billy likes a bit of Turtle Man. But also some Antique Road Show, Bargain Hunt styles. So if the heel is shopping for antiques, he has it covered. If it’s doing shots, being a drunken mess and pissing everyone off, Knoodle for the win!
Me: Heel’s the bad guy, face is the good.
K: Ahhhhh, Punk-a-Billy is most definitely the heel. Knoodle is the lovely face, heh.
Me: You recently had a punk rock version of This is Your Life at your epic birthfest, when Jeni-Colon played songs from various bands you’ve played in through the years. How was that for you?
K: Jeni-Colon did the most amazing job of 20 years of Mik. It helped that he’s incredibly old and three of the members have known him for at least 15 years. Plus he has a pretty amazing back catalogue of bands and songs. They did get two bands I’ve been in with Mik, missed one that was actually my band he joined briefly. But was a fucking awesome job, and if you haven’t got copies of his old bands CDs, please please, please take them so I have more cupboard space.
Me: Mik told me to ask questions that were for him to you because it would be funny, but you totally breezed over that! I don’t think I have any of those CDs, so yeah, I can help you out. When Beat asked OM-J what made him the “happiest about what you’re doing”, he answered that it was “The correct definition of the word band, ‘A group of people who have a common interest or purpose’. When you find that chemistry, it would make anyone happy…”. How’s the chemistry with the new line up?
K: It’s exactly what I’ve been missing without even knowing it. We’d had the same line up for six years, and we’d been playing with Crazy for close to eight years. At the time I couldn’t fault it because we were having fun and making music and all that. But once we started playing with Skillet and Jamie and writing new songs together, it really was the fresh outlook we needed. I’m challenging myself with new singing styles, songs I’ve written are coming across more like I’ve intended them to, Mik’s doing more crazy guitar stuff than he used to, and the new guys are just so excited to be a part of this ever growing party, it really makes me more excited too. Plus, new people to corrupt! I can’t wait for these tours! Let’s find out their breaking points! Haha!
Me: I’ve been corrupted by that line about a Bacon pearl necklace from “Bacon is Your Friend.” It’s one of the funniest moments on We Wrote an Album and it happened because you had to write lyrics on the fly. What’s a standout line from the new one, and how did the band come up with it?
K: I actually wrote a line to a song on the day of recording again, which I did tell everyone I’d never do again. This one is nowhere near as funny/disgusting/cringe worthy or even clever, but it’s in our cover of “Pop Song” from a Sydney band called The Drugs who were kinda popular around 2000 – 2004. It’s actually just a dig at the singer Ian Baddley and the band. Baddley was renowned as a shit stirrer. One of my favourite stories was when he wrote an open letter in their website giving shit to the singer of 28 Days, they then ended up playing a show together which resulted in The Drugs gear getting trashed, their tyres slashed, merch stand destroyed – all by fans of 28 Days. I fucking love shit stirrers. A few years ago Baddley wrote some reviews for us that we published online. Funnily enough, our fans were actually ready to riot too! Haha, I’d fucking love to be famous for shit stirring and pissing people off.
Me: You could be the next John Safran.
K: Hah! I remember watching John Safran on Race Around the World as a teenager. I also made Mik yell “Let’s have a really nice time!” at the end of our very hardcore song “Cheeky Midweeky”. And on our new version of “Sydney and Weston”, Drunk Krunch pretended to be a girl and tries to wooooo. Turns out she can’t woooo.
Me: You’ve got a new CD out next month, with a vinyl edition soon to follow. What else can we expect from Strawberry Fist Cake in the future?
K: I remember when John Safran did the streak through Jerusalem. From memory, he did it and didn’t hit record and had to do it again. I’d like to think that that’s exactly what you have to expect from us in the future. We are going to write some of the best, most mind blowing songs. But we’ll forget to record them, then try to remember, and you’ll get the scraps we piece together. We’ll do amazing things that no one will be there to witness, but to us, that’s what makes them more amazing. We’ll probably never be big, or popular, or necessarily even that good, but we’ll put everything we have into doing what we love and we’ll have a fucking great time doing it. I can’t talk so much for the other guys, but I hope we can keep touring Australia and internationally, getting in everyone’s faces and forcing them to forget their shit and have a good time for the short time they have. Oh, and world domination.
Me: If this interview gives you cancer, is it the jerk, or am I?
K: Hah! Man, I’m like a cockroach. People have been assuming that if I’m still alive they have nothing to worry about for over 10 years now. Honestly, there should be studies done on how I’m still alive. But I guess to answer the question, cancer is always the jerk. Also. I think the interview gave me crabs. Well…that’s what I’ll be blaming…
Me: Hey, if Shane MacGowan can outlive other Pogues than there’s hope for everyone. Anything else you’d like to add?
K: Shits fucked, let’s have shots! Also…I’ve had a LOT of shots. Like…actually, let’s not put numbers to it, lots will do.
Go see Strawberry Fist Cake when they play your town promoting Not a Sausage or you are a sausage. A silly one.
Photos by Matt Gleeson.